I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
