margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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