if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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