When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize