bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
