turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
