Your tits are I can't wait for
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
