Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
