You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
