I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
