so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
