I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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