I'm really into asian looking animals
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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