Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
