come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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