I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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