So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
