i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
