When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
