True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
