So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
