ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
