Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
