Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
