Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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