how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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