Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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