i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
