I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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