but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
