then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
