im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I intend to get homeless drunk
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
