i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
