She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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