yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need to calm my uterus...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
