you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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