I'm really into asian looking animals
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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