What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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