I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
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Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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