I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
