the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
