I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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