Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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