other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
