So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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