You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Girls should come with a carfax report
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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