If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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