i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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