I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
