Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
