No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
