You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
