Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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