Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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