So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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