Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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