question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
