It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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