you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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