Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
