ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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